Mature wives over 40

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Great relationships don't get that way overnight. In fact, it takes years of practice —and countless missteps—to build the kind of marriage that looks effortless from the outside.

Mature wives over 40

However, the longer you're together, the easier it can be to take your spouse for grantedand the things you once did to maintain a healthy and romantic relationship start to fall by the wayside. The good news? No matter what your age is or how long you've been married, there's always time to turn things around. With the help of relationship experts, we've rounded up easy ways to be a better spouse after No matter how long you've been together, truly expressing your vulnerability in front of your spouse is rarely comfortable or easy.

That said, doing so is an essential component of a healthy relationship. If you and your spouse both have busy schedules or travel frequently, you can easily go hours, maybe even days, without checking in. However, if you want to improve your relationship after 40, it's important to keep regular check-ins on the schedule. Your partner's relentless snoring or blanket-hogging may have made you seek greener pastures—most likely the couch—some time ago.

However, if you want to make your relationship steadier for the future, it's imperative that you get back in the same bed. She also says that sleeping in the same space not only increases a couple's physical connection, but their emotional one, as well. If you and your partner have different sleep schedules—one of you is already fast asleep by the time the other one comes to bed—you're missing out on important moments of contact and intimacy.

A shocking 75 percent of couples admit to going to bed at different hours and missing out on those moments, according to a Warren Evans study covered by The Daily Mail. If you want to be a better spouse, there's no time like the present to learn to accept that things don't always go your way. Don't be afraid to make your needs known, but go into that conversation knowing your partner can't—and won't—always oblige.

SultanoffPhD. While you may have gone into your relationship wearing rose-colored glasses, after some time together, you will become more aware of the things they do that get on your nerves. However, if you want your relationship to remain on steady footing, it's worth making a conscious decision about which issues you think are worth addressing with them, and which ones would be better to just let slide. If it is not that important, let it go," Sultanoff says.

Mature wives over 40

Nobody's perfect—your spouse included—but if you want to keep your relationship intact, it's important to forgive their shortcomings from time to time. While many people believe that compromise is the key to a happy and healthy relationship, it can also mean that neither person is really getting what they want or, more importantly, what they need. Instead of constantly trying to meet in the middle, accept that not every disagreement you have will have a perfectly equitable resolution. Even when you are clearly saying one thing to your partner, your body language may be communicating a completely different message, according to Chelsea HudsonLCPC, of Cityscape Counseling.

To avoid this, she recommends trying to evoke sincerity in your voice and checking the mirror to make sure your facial expressions are saying the same thing as your words. In many relationships, everyday behaviors can begin to carry an element of quid pro quo—"I cooked dinner so you clean up; I got the kids to bed, so I get to go out with my friends," and so on. But acts of kindness shouldn't be so transactional, which is why it's important that you put in effort even if you're unsure it will be reciprocated.

Mature wives over 40

Making it clear to your partner that their feelings are valid and deserve consideration can go a long way toward making you feel more connected in your relationship. And you don't need to fully understand, or even agree with, those feelings to show your support—all it takes is the right language.

Phrases like, "It seems like it was a hard day for you" or "I can see how much you enjoyed that outing with your girlfriends," are a good place to start Sweitzer says. Being physically present with your spouse isn't the same as being emotionally present. To build and maintain a successful marriage, make sure that you're actually paying attention to your partner and not simply sitting in the same room as them.

One of the most common sources of tension in a lengthy marriage is saying things are fine when they're really not.

Mature wives over 40

Though it's not always easy to share certain things, being honest with your partner will make your marriage better in the long run. Arguments in a relationship aren't always pleasant, but they are part of a healthy marriage. Inafter analyzing more than marriages over the course of 20 years, University of Michigan researchers found that couples who avoided confrontation or disagreements in general tended to live shorter lives than those who didn't shy away from tension and instead learned how to argue in emotionally mature ways.

So, if you're upset with your partner about something, it's best to just put it all out in the open. If you've been with your spouse for a long time, there may be times when you find yourselves acting more like friends than romantic partners. If you want to make your marriage a whole lot more exciting, try flirting with your spouse like you did when you were first dating. A little flattery can go a long way, especially when it comes to your marriage, Sullivan says.

Once you stop, your partner will feel less appreciated. Even if your budget is small, giving your partner "just because" gifts can make them feel wanted and appreciated. You could also get up early on the weekend and bring them breakfast in bed—just small things here and there that show appreciation. You don't have to become their Ed McMahonlaughing generously at everything they say as if it was a part of your job.

But when your spouse says something legitimately funnyshow your appreciation. And as a bonus, remember that laughter can be a real aphrodisiac. Early in your relationship, you and your spouse went to a new restaurant every week, tried new vacation destinations every year, and generally kept things fresh and exciting. However, those impulses to explore can fade over time. To bring that sense of adventure back, try injecting a little spontaneity into your daily routine. While it's tempting to do two things at once so you can cross off another item on your to-do list, it doesn't always make for effective communication.

If this continues on, you might be on track for a split. If you're over 40, it's been some time since your parents sat you down to tell you why honesty is so important. But the message remains true—especially in your marriage. Lies that build up lead to distrust, anger, and sometimes infidelity. If your feelings require that much outside maintenance, it might be time to explore therapy.

The more complex your feelings are, the more important it is that you find somebody qualified to process them effectively, Masini says. It might not seem like a big deal, but every broken promiseno matter how small or seemingly inificant, leaves a residual effect. If you make a promise, even if it's something that you don't feel is life or death—like saying that you'll pick up groceries on your way home from work—make sure you follow through with it.

Tell your spouse you love them not only in private, but in front of other people, as well, Masini says. Not a fan of public displays of affection? Well, we're not talking about a full-on make-out session in the presence of company. They are just three little words, after all. But those three little words can pack a powerful punch. We all need some time to ourselves every now and then, including your partner, so it's important they feel comfortable taking it. And instead of them asking for space, take the initiative and let them know you're fine with not being attached at the hip.

You'll be doing great things for your spouse—and your relationship. If they love golf, play a round with them. If they are passionate about opera, get tickets for the two of you to see one. When you workout as a couple, "not only are you having fun and spending time together, but you're also building your health together," Masini says.

Mature wives over 40

Exercising with a partner, even via virtual classes, can motivate you to push yourself harder, too. While you might find yourself jealous of someone else's seemingly-perfect marriage, comparing it with your relationship will only have a negative impact. As long as you're not comparing, spending time with other couples can actually make you happier and more bonded in your own relationship.

According to a study published in the journal Personal Relationships"the creation of couple friendships may be an additional way to reignite feelings of passionate love in romantic relationships. It's happened to all of us: You're with other people and your partner says something that's just glaringly wrong, and you know it. Do you correct them, even if it means embarrassing them in front of their friends? The fact of the matter is, your spouse doesn't always have to be right, and neither do you.

Sometimes you've just got to cut them a break and be supportive. Make a commitment to doing something with your partner every week. It could be taking dance lessons once a week. But there's got to be some type of involvement on both of your parts as a couple.

Or, if you need fresh air, consider a picnic in the park or bike ride around your neighborhood. Everyone makes mistakes, and being married is full of challenges. It's how you handle the aftermath of mistakes and the feelings of anger and resentment they caused. Do you put it behind you or do you let it fester quietly?

Making note of what you appreciate and love about your spouse can help you be a better partner. After years of marriage, it can be easy to unknowingly take your spouse for granted. But even though it's likely not intentional, that doesn't mean it can't still poison the relationship. That's why it's essential to let them know how much you appreciate and love them. And while writing down those things is a good place start, "A better spouse will express appreciation to their partner, which can only help the relationship," Spinelli says. Once you've identified some of the traits in your partner that you're grateful for, drop them a few romantic reminders of how and why they make you happy.

Even if the physical component of your relationship changes as you agethere's no reason you can't shower your spouse in affection in other ways. Whether you're hosting a weekly game night or ing a sports league together, playing with your spouse can make your relationship a whole lot more fun—and romantic—in no time.

You don't need a full-blown makeover to wow your partner, but spicing things up with a refreshed look from time to time can make a major positive impact in your relationship. Keep date night alive now, and you won't find your relationship struggling a few years down the line.

While having common interests can certainly facilitate spousal bondinghaving some activities that your partner doesn't partake in can actually increase the enjoyment you get from your relationship. Even if you've been with your spouse for decades, your preferences in the bedroom are prone to change, and it's important that you make those new needs known when they arise.

If you want to keep your marriage fresh over 40, don't keep those evolving desires to yourself! Don't let your curiosity about your partner fade just because you've spent years or even decades together. If your marriage has hit a rough patch, try talking about the good times to help get things back on track. Have you ever heard a couple retell the story of how they met like it's part of their personal mythology?

The details might be slightly exaggerated, and the ending like something out of a romantic comedy.

Mature wives over 40

But their shared nostalgia for how they finally found each other isn't just to impress friends and family. It's a reminder of what makes their love unique and special. If you and your partner haven't told your love story in years, it's time to blow the dust off the cover of that timeless tale. It's easy to start taking your partner for granted when you've been together for years, but it would benefit your marriage to express the gratitude you feel toward them.

When it comes to keeping your relationship healthy, prioritizing kindness over being right can make all the difference. You don't know it, but they might be extending the same courtesy to you as well. While you may find yourself tuning out some of the conversations you have with your spouse, making the effort to really listen to them can help strengthen the bond of friendship that keeps your relationship strong.

You don't need to have a huge amount of disposable income or make lavish gestures to surprise your partner with something special. Instead, you might clean up your spouse's breakfast dishes without making a big deal of it when they forget, fill up their car with gas when you notice it's empty, or set their work bag by the front door if you've noticed them forgetting it in the past. If you think your text message apologies are cutting it, think again.

So whenever possible, try having your big relationship discussions—including even arguments—and the subsequent apologies in person. Not everyone communicates the same way in a relationship, and people's love languages can evolve over time. Even if you've been with your partner for years, make a point of checking in and seeing if their's has changed since you first met. A good Netflix binge is a fun way to spend a night in with your spouse, but try no to overdo it. That's because the amount of television you watch and the kinds of programs you view can have a ificant impact on your relationship.

Mature wives over 40

According to study published in the journal Mass Communication and Society"Heavier viewing of romantically themed programming and greater belief in television's portrayals of romantic relationships were associated with lower marital commitment, higher expected and perceived costs of marriage, and more favorable perceptions of alternatives to one's current relationship. It's easy to get bogged down in all the things that are going wrong in your relationship. But if you want to be a better partner, try focusing on what's going right between you and your spouse instead.

PawelskiPhD, the husband and wife co-authors of Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lastsnote that focusing on the positive is linked to greater personal well-being, as well as greater relationship satisfaction. We all know the importance of supporting a partner when things go wrong, but what about when everything is going well?

Mature wives over 40

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